WHY DOES LIFE SEEM SO OVERWHELMING?
Do you ever find yourself thinking how your life got to be so overwhelming? Do you ever find yourself staring off into the distance only to realize you've been daydreaming about how your life used to be or could have been?
Maybe that's just me, and you have your life 100% together. Or maybe you're reading this blog post because you saw the title and thought maybe this would be the thing that will save me from the life I've created for myself.
I'm raising my hand over here because I felt and thought those things 3 years ago. I was the woman who set goals and had good intentions, but there never seemed to be enough time, money or energy for achieving life’s biggest goals. Instead of making progress, life seemed even more out of balance.
I THOUGHT MY POSITIVE MINDSET & FAITH WOULD CURE MY OVERWHELM.
I believe that sometimes we take our Christian faith for granted by using it as a crutch for the way our life is when we should be taking responsibility for our actions and consequences. God is sovereign, yes. But God's sovereignty doesn't negate personal responsibility to choose to do our part. We each have free will. We each have free thoughts, and from those thoughts comes the ability to choose daily habits that form our lives. And if we're not careful, those habits end up forming lives that are not pleasing to God, nor are they beneficial to us. This blog post talks more about the daily habits we might want to focus on .
Example: if you're having financial stress in your marriage because of debt, are you making small action steps as a couple towards removing that stumbling block? Your list might look like...
1. Make a list of all debts in order of total amount due
2. Make an extra payment (today) on the smallest debt while still making minimum payments on the others
3. Investigate ways to make extra money to pay off all debt START NOW
In other words, identify where you're out of balance so that you can overcome the overwhelm.
And that's just one key area, sis.
Did you know that being a Christian doesn't necessarily mean you automatically have it all together? The fall of Adam placed sin in our world and in our hearts and we have to do our part to be sure we're dying to that part of ourselves daily, and instead surrendering to the Holy Sprit in us.
If your life is overwhelming and out of balance, you'll have to understand why so that you can know which steps to take to alleviate that overwhelm.
ONE AREA FOR ME WAS MY MOM RAGE.
I didn't know what mom rage was until I resigned from the pharmacy and became a full time stay at home mom. Suddenly I'd gone from only seeing my children for a short time in the mornings and a short time before bed to being with them all day everyday, and I didn't know how to cope.
One think I remember specifically was I didn't know what the root of my anger was - I just knew I felt like I was failing because I felt angry that my child wouldn't sleep and to my primal brain, no sleep night after night was connected to a fear of me being depleted and me being depleted was somehow connected to what I would or wouldn't be able to accomplish that day which was connected to the thought, 'What am I worth if I can't even take care of my baby plus xyz....
As an Enneagram 5, it makes sense that I would have been fearful of not having enough energy, therefore not being capable of doing the thing I deemed necessary for successful day.
ANOTHER AREA FOR ME WAS CHILDHOOD DISCIPLINE.
My upbringing only taught me one form of childhood discipline - spankings. I knew that wasn't the route I wanted to take with my children, but in the beginning I didn't know any other way. I wanted to be able to effectively discipline my children and the way I learned how to do that was through Gentle Christian Parenting. This method of parenting helps moms (and dads) understand two super important things that was missing from my life before - the brain development of growing child and the response mechanisms of parents to that development. Once I understood those two things as my foundation, I was able to re-parent myself in a way, and rid myself of the overwhelmassociated with the punitive discipline I'd been used to - it takes a life long commitment + practice but it is so freeing, mamas.
IDENTIFYING YOUR OVERWHELM.
Start by identifying your biggest stressor in your life. If that tasks sounds too daunting, try breaking your life into these 7 categories that I like to use known as the 7 Fs of Oola - I'll list the categories below, but be sure to write down your list in a journal or on your smartphone, so you can refer back to it.
Fitness: Excess weight? Poor nutrition? Little exercise?
Finance: Crushing debt? No retirement plan? Too many bills?
Family: Need boundaries? Marriage on life support?
Field: Career stress? No free time? No fulfillment?
Faith: No real relationship with God? Need a daily practice?
Friends: Toxic friends that bring you down? Need mentors?
Fun: No time for fun? Waiting until you’re older or retired?
Whatever is stressing you, let’s work together to completely transform your life into one that’s balanced, happy and growing. If you want support, join the Millennial Homemakers Facebook group where we talk all about this and more or, you can message me privately any time when you have questions.
Until then, stay tuned by signing up for blog updates to see over the next few weeks how you can rid yourself of the overwhelm and bring balance into your life.